


Sai’marei

by froginatinyhat



Category: The Aurora Cycle - Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff
Genre: Aurora burning, Gen, Saedii and Kal, Saedii deserves a story, Siblings, aurora rising, the thing - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:35:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24307540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/froginatinyhat/pseuds/froginatinyhat
Summary: Saedii and Kal were family once. This is my way of exploring what their relationship might have looked like through the use of a childhood game.
Relationships: Saedii & Kaliis
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	Sai’marei

**Author's Note:**

> Sai’marei is completely made up. Also, I’m unsure if Caesran is their last name so I just used Gilwraeth. Warnings! Childhood abuse and minor sexual themes are referenced, though only implied and not described in detail. May be some spoilers for Aurora Burning. Although it won’t ruin the book for you if you haven’t read it I would wait to read this after.

Sai’marei. The Thing. That was what Saedii and Kal had at some point decided was the perfect name for the strange little... Thing. 

A while back, almost too far for Saedii to remember clearly, their mother had come home with a toy. It was a stuffed animal made in the vague image of a drakaan. In retrospect, The Thing looked more like the demons from Terran folklore than a drakaan, it’s legs absurdly long with eyes that were a little to realistic for anyone to feel comfortable looking at. It was a putrid shade of yellow rather than black, over stuffed in the neck and under stuffed in the tail. 

To nobodies grand surprise, neither of the Gilwraeth children wanted The Thing. The Thing was ugly and disturbing to behold, yet alone possess. When their mother smiled and presented it to them, saying something about wanting to be kind to a young local Weaver, both grimaced and backed away. 

“Now, don’t be rude. Who wants it?” Mother shook the toy slightly, as if to make it more enticing to her children. It’s wings flopped sadly, looking as if they would fall off with the slightest tug. 

Not wanting to disappoint his mother with bad manners, Kal turned to Saedii. “You like Drakaans. Would you like it?”

Saedii quickly shook her head, braids whipping around her face. “Absolutely not. If that’s a drakaan, I’m a dishrag.  You  can have it.”

Kal giggled slightly, “I mean you kind of look like one...” lightly pushing Saedii on the shoulder towards The Thing. 

“Hey!” 

Mother laughed despite Saediis annoyance. Kaliis didn’t mean the insult, and Saedii wasn’t really offended. 

“Alright, who wants this? It has a certain... homemade charm, yes?” She knew that didn’t matter to the five and seven year old in front of her, they were repulsed by the soft toy. Yet, a weavers work is a weavers work... no matter how juvenile. Or free of charge. 

Of course, childish shenanigans ensued. 

“No, you can have it-“

“No, you can.”

“Please, I insist.”

“It suits you better-“

“I think it likes you more-“

Somewhere in the middle of all this, one of the kids had taken the toy and shoved in the others hands, only for it to immediately be handed back. Free of the malformed little plaything, Laeleth left the main room to begin making dinner. She didn’t think the toy would make it to the next morning, that the toy would be destroyed during the process of play. It was of no consequence to her, no money would have been wasted. 

She underestimated the strength of the sewing.

* * *

In spite of its poor craftsmanship and rambunctious owners, the little monstrosity survived not only that night, but many years after. 

The Thing became something of a running joke and game between the siblings. Since neither of them wanted The Thing in their rooms, Kal and Saedii would at first place it on the others bed, a “gift” from the other. Then the game grew more complex. Instead of just placing it in the others bedchambers, they would hide The Thing to be discovered and “returned to its rightful owner.” 

The Thing became more than an absurd work of some broke artisan to them. It became a small, absurd little monument to their relationship. Some of the happiest memories they shared involved The Thing, a rare smile or laugh caused because of it. 

* * *

Kal had once walked back from the dinner table, trying to escape from the fight he could feel was about to start. Saedii has also finished quickly, returning to her bedroom before he did. It was a practiced art at this point, to try and avoid one another as much as their parents.

As he had nudged open his door to slip into his bedroom, something fell with a heavy thump to the floor. He jumped back, startled. Despite his injuries from the days gruelling practices with his father, his bruised face formed into a rare smile as he lifted The Thing up from the ground. 

He turned, unsurprisedto see Saedii leaning against her bedroom door frame. He made The Thing slowly nod at her, making her smile.  _ You win this round. _

* * *

Saedii remembered a night after a day of hard training, frustrated with herself for letting her younger brother beat her in a small sparring session their father had set up. There was not much difference between them in size- if anything, the eleven year old girl was larger than her nine year old brother. They had fought normally and regularly as they always did, but she had slowed her movements. Kaliis had tackled her to the ground. Fatigue, she claimed. Her father did not care. Still, ‘ _Mercy is the province of cowards._ ’ 

As she had turned the shower on, waiting for it to warm as she pulled the ties from her braids, she realized she had forgotten her towel. Saedii had left the bathroom to retrieve it from her room, wincing as her ankle twinged from a well placed kick. She sighed as she closed the door, stripping her final layers off to clean herself. As she had stepped into the hot shower, she looked up. And screamed. 

There, precariously balances with its threadbare wings draped over the shower curtain rod, was The Thing. The Thing stared at her with mocking eyes as she realized what a stupid little thing she had shrieked over, somehow remaining in place. She turned the shower off, pulled her towel over herself and grabbed The Thing, grumbling insults under her breath. 

Saedii marched across the hallway to her brothers room, a short walk. ‘ He probably heard me shriek, the little idiot... ’ She flung open his door and threw the monstrosity in her hand right at his smug little face. He was sitting cross legged on his bed, brushing through a section of his hair as if he had done nothing at all. Kal began to laugh out loud, lifting The Thing up from where it has fallen into his lap.

“What? Did The Thing give you a fright?” He grinned, shaking it at her. 

“It did not  frighten me, you absolute fool . You shoudn’t hide it in the shower, anyway. It could grow mold.” Saedii snapped at Kal. Still, Kal only laughed. He could tell her anger was only a thin guise for the amusement she would never admit she felt at the absurdity of the situation. 

“It would be an improvement. Besides, I didn’t hide it. The Thing has a mind of its own.” Kal replied, resuming the tedious process of braiding his hair. 

Saedii shook her head and left, returning to her shower. She felt lighter, less guilty. Her brother may be annoying at times, but he could still make her smile. Occasionally.  _ Alright, little brother. You win this round. _

* * *

The morning Saedii started her school lessons for the fifth year, she had packed her bags and simply left. 

A kiss on the forehead from her mother she quickly pulled away from, refusing to return the affection. 

Only a nod from Kaliis. 

Her father didn’t even look up from the video he was watching at the table. Live footage beat acknowledging your children’sfirst day back at school, apparently. 

She spent the time on public transportation trying to refocus, to put her feelings of rejection away so she wouldn’t be distracted at school. All thoughts of her family fading from her mind as she walked over to her small group of friends, the familiar pain dulling to an ache. 

She almost succeeded. When she opened the pocket of her bag to pull out her uniglass for her first lesson, a grotesque pair of orange eyes looked up at her from the depths of the backpack. 

Even as she pulled the zip closed and drew her eyes back to the front of the classroom, she smiled.  _ You win this round. _

* * *

_Five months._

_ It’s been five months. _

_ I wonder what they are doing in this moment.  _

Saedii stared the other warbreed down in the elevator that led to her chambers. He was a perfectly average male, one she had noticed had taken to using this particular elevator instead of the one closer to his own residence. A pathetic attempt at getting to know her, to display interest. As if it would make her desire him, his mere presence enough to attract her.  _You will have to do much more than stand next to me..._

She had noticed him, however. Perhaps not in the way he wanted her to, with the way he kept flicking his glossy braids around and deliberately avoiding eye contact. All his posturing was borderline annoying. As if he she couldn’t already sense his intentions. As if the brief fantasies of pushing her against the elevator wall didn’t clue her in.  _ If only he knew... _

Saedii was only 15. She did not know the age of the male. Still, she kept her expression neutral, even inviting as he studied her.  _ You will be my first.  _ First victim, first lover, she knew not. Only that he would be one or the other. 

A pair of thumbs around her neck or a man walking out of her bedroom late at night would certainly spark some interest. 

She had been training harder than ever, all her spare time spent online educating herself on tactics, in the sparring courts against what little friends she had time for. It still wasn’t enough. She could never so much as impress her father, yet alone beat him. Still, she had come this far. Saedii had forced Mother to leave her, unwilling to condem her father to complete abandonment. She would not sacrifice the life and work she had built here either. 

Saedii strode out the elevator, flicking her freshly dyed black braids behind her to fall against her lower back. She offered the briefest of glances behind her to the male. He pretended not to notice.

She honestly did intend to walk right past her brothers room. She had refused to look inside, to acknowledge the emptiness that filled the space instead of the faint notes of a siif. 

A siif she had destroyed. A siif used to attack her, to cause her pain. Siifs meant hurt to her now, not familiarity.

Her brother was gone, along with her mother. Cowards, the both of them. She was the only one strong enough to stay, to stand to the side as her Father had torn apart his own room and Kaliis’s abandoned one. 

She did intend to walk past. She did not. 

Father had forgone the usual hours of training they usually spent together to attend a meeting. Warbreed counsels didnot usually continue this long, but the war had been building to a climax. More time had to be dedicated to war than family, as it should be.

So Saedii opened the door to her brothers deserted room. 

What clothes, decorations, and miscellaneous objects Kal had left behind when he ran with Mother were thrown all across the floor, many broken and torn apart. The remainder of Fathers rage, of her acquiescence. She still remembered how she had stole out of her room to inquire what all the noise was about, the look in her fathers eyes as he had slammed the door of Kals room shut in her face. How she had not even tried to stop him. 

She closed the door behind her, and took some time to go through his things. Completely ordinary possessions- shirts, some knives she pocketed, puzzles, an old school uniglass with a shattered screen. 

Saedii went to sit on the bed, to take a moment to ruminate over the uniglass. Could she have it fixed? Should she? It did not look as if it was irreparable, but to what purpose would fixing it serve? As she pulled a pillow onto her lap to balance the uniglass on top so tiny chips of plexiglass wouldn’t further fall through her fingers to the floor, she noticed something behind the headboard of the bed. 

Stuffed behind the head of the bed, somehow still in one piece, was The Thing. Saedii reached over and grabbed the stuffed toy, placing the uniglass to the side to hold The Thing up in front of her face. 

It was unchanged. Eight years of being tossed around, hidden in places it really shouldn’t be, even almost set on fire when Saedii hid it in the heating vent in Kals closet. And it had endured. 

_ How did you know? _

Kal had hidden it here instead of her room. She had stopped playing with The Thing when they had “grown to old for it.“ Deep down, Saedii knew that age had little to do with it. The game had haltedwhen the constant battle they had fought with each other had overwhelmed the comradeship they had once had. 

Somehow, Kaliis had guessed Saedii would have thrown it away, torn it into little pieces and burned away for good if she had discovered it in her room. So he had hidden The Thing away, the last reminder of the philia they had once shared. 

His love for her left on their ship. For him to forget, or for her to remember?

She could never return The Thing now. He was gone. 

_ You didn’t just win this round, did you?  _

_ You won the whole damn game.  _


End file.
